Most parents would probably tell you that having kids is no picnic, in fact, it is a job in itself.
But, if you asked which is harder, between looking after your kids and going out to work, you’d no doubt get mixed responses, depending on who you asked.
Parents who go out to work would probably argue that balancing a job and parenting is more difficult, while stay at home parents would most likely say that their job never ends, making it more difficult.
It’s this exact debate which has caused a rift between two sisters, both of whom have children of their own, but who have taken very different paths in life.
“My sister C and I have always been polar opposites, so we do clash on quite a few things, but generally we are close. She has two kids, six-year-old Rose and seven-year-old Ty, and I have a son called Oz, who is two, and they’re really close,” one of the sisters explained on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum.
“C has always been a stay at home mum ever since she left school and never had a Job whereas I’ve always been career driven, my job’s hours can be long and irregular but I love it, though if ever say I’m tired or I’ve had a hard day C has to one up me and say how she’s even MORE tired or has had an even HARDER day, because she a stay at home mum so works 24/7.”
However, while the woman acknowledges that stay at home mums do, in fact, work very hard, she says that her sister does none of the jobs expected to be done by a stay at home mum, like cooking, cleaning and picking up the kids.
“The thing is all the things a stay at home mum does, she doesn’t. Both kids are at school and her husband Dan is the one that gets them ready, helps with homework, cooks all the meals, they have a cleaner, and C doesn’t drive so my mum picks kids up from school and looks after them until Dan gets home from work,” she continued.
“Most weekends Dan will bring the kids over to me, as I live a 10 min walk away, so C can have a ‘break’. So I don’t have much sympathy for her, but most of the time I just let it go.”
However, things came to a head during half term break, when the woman was called into work for an emergency, but both her husband and her nanny were busy, so were unable to take care of Oz. Instead, she turned to her mum to see if she could take care of the infant, but her mum said she couldn’t as she was too busy looking after C’s daughter, Rose.
“I suggested that she could bring Rose over to my house to look after Oz, but she couldn’t as Rose had friends round for a playdate. I took my son and rushed over to C’s house to beg mum to take him, and while I’m talking to mum C came down. I explained the situation but she said that as Rose has friends over it would be inappropriate for Oz to be there,” she explained.
“I asked why mum couldn’t take Oz back home for a few hours and C watched the girls, but C seemed offended by the suggestion that she should look after her own child herself.”
In the end, the woman stormed out, telling her sister, “thanks for nothing,” before taking her son into work with her, explaining: “It worked out fine but I was pissed with C.”
“So today I went over to C’s, I wanted to put the situation behind us and move on but she brought it up, she said she was waiting for an apology from me, when I laughed she told me I just don’t get how hard being a stay at home mum is,” she said.
“I told her she doesn’t even know what a hard job is and that the fact she calls herself a stay at home mum is a joke and that she is just lazy and selfish. I left and she told me that I’m not welcome back.”
After sharing her experience on Reddit, the woman was inundated with comments who agreed she was well within her rights to feel frustration towards her sister.
“Seriously, I’ve done both, and the thing about having a job is that you’re still a mum 24/7. So the sister acting like her job never ends is such a bulls*** point because your job of being a mum also never ends. As evidenced by this story when you had to take your son to work with you,” one Reddit user commented.
“The issue is how selfish and judgemental and demanding the sister is. I think she clearly feels insecure about what she does, or rather doesn’t do, and takes it out on you. If you can’t have a job or do all of the strenuous day to day tasks of being a stay at home mum or whatever. It at least sounds like the children are taken care of, so you do you.”